When "Helpful" Advice Becomes Too Much

I find that many veteran players are so excited to share the game that they want to pass along everything they know. Awesome, right? The trouble is, some believe they're skilled enough to teach every part of the game to whoever they're paired with on the court — and that's not always doing anyone a favor.

There comes a point when too much is too much.

Many of my clients tell me stories about players who've been at it a while, are skilled in certain areas, and want to share every nugget of knowledge with them — becoming the unofficial "coach" on and off the court. These players may mean well, but they're often giving tips, skills, and strategy advice without:

1. Ever asking if the advice is wanted,

2. Having any real teaching ability, or

3. Considering whether the advice actually fits that player's skill level.

Sometimes it's genuinely good advice. But often, it's not the right strategy for a beginner or intermediate player to absorb in the moment. Advice is only as good as its timing and context.

When clients tell me what their "on-court coach" said mid-game, I just shake my head and think, "What did they just say?" or "Why are they coaching instead of playing?"

Here's my take: if you're taking lessons from a qualified private coach and paying for their expertise, then absolutely — listen, and put in the work you're paying for. But as the old saying goes, "everyone's got one" (opinion, that is), and not all advice is right, and not all of it is welcome. Be cautious of players on the court who present themselves as the expert — the "this is what the pros do" type. Here's the thing: not everyone is a pro, and not everyone wants to be one. Not everyone is as young, agile, or advanced as the player doling out the advice, either.

For most people, this is recreational play. They want to enjoy the game with friends, at their own pace and style. If they want to level up their strategy, they'll seek it out from a source they trust. And to be fair, there are some excellent instructors online today with genuinely great content — but plenty of players watching those videos simply aren't at that level of play yet. Know where you stand, know what you can and can't do yet, and make sure you're actually practicing the skills you're trying to learn.

Sure, beginner and intermediate players want to learn eventually — just not every single moment on the court from someone who may or may not have the right information. It's a fine line to walk. I've spent my whole career teaching physical activity, and honestly, it's hard for me not to offer advice when I see someone playing in a way I wish they wouldn't. But I bite my tongue and coach myself instead. (Yes, I'm the one talking to myself out loud on the court — but I'm coaching me, not my partner. If they happen to overhear and pick something up, great, but I'm not actively teaching them.)

Now, if someone asks — "Hey, if you've got any advice, let me know," or "What am I doing wrong here?" or "What's the right play in this situation?" — that's different. I'll usually check in first: "Are you sure you want me to tell you what I see?" And if yes, I'll share my knowledge and opinion freely. After the game, if there's something I think would genuinely help them, I'll ask, "If you ever want tips, or want me to share what I think might help, just let me know," or "Mind if I share something I noticed?"

I try never to push my coaching on someone who's simply out there having fun at their own pace. It's not my job to correct everyone all the time — even though some players seem to feel it's theirs.

The Remedy

How to Handle the "On-Court Coach" — Gracefully

So how do you handle it when the unsolicited advice keeps coming?

First, if someone offers advice you didn't ask for, you can kindly say, "Thanks, I appreciate the thought, but I'm taking lessons and working on what my coach and I have been focusing on." That usually signals you're taking pride in your own progress and aren't looking for outside instruction. Of course, some people won't take it well — you might get a snide "well, your coach is wrong and I'm right" in return. That's on them, not you.

Next, remember that as a gracious sportsperson, you can always thank someone for their input. If the advice happens to fit your style of play, take it. If not, you can simply let it go. But here's the catch: if you ignore it, it often doesn't stop — it just keeps coming, until you put the brakes on it yourself.

Most of these well-meaning "on-court coaches" will keep offering tips until you say something directly. You don't want to start drama, so a polite but clear line works best: "Really, I appreciate it, but I'd rather not get more tips right now — I'm working on my own game." There's probably a smoother way to phrase that, but sometimes you just have to be direct. Most of these players genuinely mean well; they simply want to share what they know or have learned.

In more than ten years around pickleball — and in the many other sports I've played and coached — I've learned one universal truth: there will always be people who want to share their thoughts and opinions.

My advice: nip it in the bud. Don't let someone feed you information you're not comfortable with, or that you know for a fact is wrong. It's not worth the confrontation or the drama — you're there to play, practice what you've actually been coached on, and have fun. Be gentle, but be firm. Let them know you appreciate the gesture, but you're already working with someone you trust — and if you trust your coach, follow their lead.

To the "on-court coaches" out there: keep promoting the game and sharing your knowledge, but make sure the person you're talking to actually wants it. We know your intentions are good, and your information may well be solid — but be sure the people you're sharing with are comfortable receiving it from you. If they'd rather not, don't take it personally. Let it go, and enjoy the game and the company.

And if you love teaching enough to want to do it seriously, consider getting certified. There are several pickleball teaching certification programs out there — do your research, find one that fits your goals, and look for ongoing support after you finish. Or find a mentor willing to guide you along the way. Loving the game and enjoying the people you play with is wonderful — but not everyone wants the information you have to offer, and that's okay.

We're all at different levels, playing different styles. Find the group that matches yours, and enjoy the game to the fullest. Don't coach if no one's asked you to — and be kind to those who offer advice anyway. Sometimes the simplest response is the best one: "Thanks, I just want to move and play."